These days I make a conscious effort to be present in my own life. And by so doing I am more present in the life of others too. Its in the little things.
My first inclination in priceless moments in recent times is no more to take pictures, or to make snaps, I think of those things but they are secondary and when I eventually do them, it means I have taken in enough of that moment.
When I meet people these days, I try to stay away from my phone as much as possible, when people visit me, I put it away. When I have to talk to my Dad, I remind myself consciously to put the phone away. When loved ones want to Skype or make a WhatsApp call, I don't feel up to it, I am probably tired, I probably want to sleep, but I say Okay.
I do not want to wake up one day and realise that I have been too engrossed living for others to be present in my own life. I remember someone going through my phone gallery and asking, "Caleb where are all the pictures you took in Kampala?" and the shock when I said, that's them all.
Don't get me wrong. Nothing wrong with pictures. There are some of us wired to be able to multi task, I am not. Half the new places I go to these days, I take really few pictures and then I question the need to post them, why really, Caleb? You're having a great life. You know already. Nothing to prove. Eventually I post as a story.
Now I sound like a broken record. Again nothing wrong with pictures. Everyone knows I take a lot. Deciding not to until I am able to balance moments is a personal sentiment. We should be more concerned with what led me here and that is the realization that for the longest time, I had bought a ticket to my life, I was a spectator, a guest.
I am wired to be able to focus on one thing. I know this. Every time I try to do many things, all suffer but one. So funny how people say I do a lot. The trick is to put so much effort in everything that even when they suffer you barely notice. Not to deviate, but this is the reason why every time I trade a moment for a photo or to reply messages, I lose something. Some of my most cherished memories have no pictures.
Shade Ladipo says capturing a moment is not as important as enjoying the moment.
Most times when I make a post, I turn off notifications and revisit it to reply comments later. Most mornings, I say to myself, no internet in this house until you do productive offline stuff, and this is the bane of my resolve.
I will look away from my laptop more often, I will read more books. I will talk to Danny, whether I feel like it, whether I do not. I will take more pictures after soaking in a moment and with the intention of preserving memory, I will talk to my father and look him in the eyes, I will be present in every moment of my life.
Written by:
Caleb Somtochukwu Okereke
Facebook.com/ Caleb Somtochukwu Okereke
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